Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
