Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
