member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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