Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm like, not good at living.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
