Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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