check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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