well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
