We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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