were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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