put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
