wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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