We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize