When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
