Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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