He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
