this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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