i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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