Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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