That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
