when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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