Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
