I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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