She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I just put wine in my tea
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
