Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
