i think my tv is drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
