were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
