Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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