I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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