please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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