if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
