i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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