Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
