I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
