I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
