I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
