I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
