im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
