gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
