Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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