I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
