best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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