Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
