And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
