Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize