the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i came on her dog
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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