He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My dick has a subreddit
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
