Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
