would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
