I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize