dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
