I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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