at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize