She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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