Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
