Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
