Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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